I am a person, as you know if you have read some of my blogs, who is highly motivated and very into accomplishing what I set out to do. And I am someone who if you ask what a goal should entail will tell you it should generally have a way to define success, normally with a date attached to that goal.? This helps you arrange goals in preference to length of time they might take, and also enables you to maybe put more or less focus on it given when you have given yourself to do it.
That said – two years ago there were a few goals on my sheet, that I set every year, and I wasn?t getting. In particular, I had a goal to get married and have children by a certain age.? And I was getting really depressed because even though I had set that goal, was dating and being open to possibilities, I was still single.? Not for lack of dates, but from a lack of meeting the right guy.
So I sat down with my clearing practitioner, Jayne Johnson, and I told her I was having trouble with my goals.? And she gave me some advice that surprised me.? (Given that she gives an excellent course on setting goals, one I have taken repeatedly over the years, because it is so helpful in the goal setting and achieving process.)? She said – yes, generally goals are ?suppose? to have a date. ?They are suppose to be specific, otherwise how do you know if you have achieved them?? But – if setting a date to a goal is bothering you and is making you feel bad, then don?t do it.
So instead of a date and an age, I changed my goal to say I was going to married and have children when the timing was right. yes a bit esoteric – as I was now leaving it ?up to the Universe? to fulfill it for me.? But I figured, the other way wasn?t working, and this at least felt better.? And didn?t make me feel like saying ?well screw it why bother with goals, they never come true.?
So here?s the funny thing about that conversation.? Less than a year later I was in a monogamous relationship, with an amazing man, who has a son. And it happened when the timing was right – for both of us.? Which is pretty cool.
So while most of the time, setting a timeline for a goal is a good idea, sometimes it isn?t.? And what I?ve learned is that?s OK too.
For more on goals see Why Set Goals?